Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Good Read: The Important Thing About Yelling

Oh my... I'm very emotional right now after reading this wonderful post from Rachel Macy Stafford from her blog I was crying by the time I finished the article because it was just so touching and so true. Maybe some of you have already come across this article through a link from Facebook (like me) but if you haven't, please take time to read it (even the comments section has some great insights).

As a stay at home mom to two young kids (aged 3 and 2), I have to admit that there are times when I just lose it. One minute, my kids and I are all getting along, laughing and playing. Then suddenly, they both end up fighting over something, the snack they're eating spills everywhere on the floor, they're both crying at the top of their lungs, they don't want to listen to me, the whole house is a mess... and I just feel so out of control! And of course, even if you're the most patient person out there, there will be times when you will just snap and yell. And I admit to doing that. 

I love how this line sums up everything:

"yelling shuts down the communication; it severs the bond; it causes people to separate—instead of come closer."


It's become so easy for me to yell over the smallest things when I'm sleepy, hungry, or overwhelmed. Or even when my kids are asking for attention when I'm busy with something (like blogging!). And no matter how hard you try to put everything in order, there will be instances when they write on the walls, break something, try to put their fingers through the electric fan, step on the iPad, and many many more... And my initial response would be to yell stuff like "NO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? STOP THAT! THAT'S BAD!" I see it as a way to discipline them, to prevent them from getting hurt, because I love them. 

But I have to realize that they don't know what they're doing is wrong. They're babies and these are all new to them. It's important to understand that we are there to teach our children. My job as a parent is to educate them and not get annoyed when they do something I'm sure they had no idea was wrong. By yelling at them, we instill fear in them to try new things, to explore, to be themselves. I've noticed lately that when my 3 year old daughter does something, her immediate response is to say "SORRY!" even when it isn't her fault or it was just an accident. It made me realize that maybe I've been scolding her way too much that's why it's become normal for her to apologize over everything. I definitely don't want my kids to be scared of me that is why I am thankful for this article because it has really inspired me and opened my eyes to change.

Here are some more beautiful words from the article to end this post:

"The important thing is … it’s not too late to stop yelling.
The important thing is … children forgive–especially if they see the person they love trying to change.
The important thing is … life is too short to get upset over spilled cereal and misplaced shoes.
The important thing is … no matter what happened yesterday, today is a new day.
Today we can choose a peaceful response.
And in doing so, we can teach our children that peace builds bridges—bridges that can carry us over in times of trouble."
Read the complete article The Important Thing About Yelling HERE.

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