Tuesday, July 8, 2014

My Breastfeeding Journey

Today, my baby Skyler turns 6 months old. Wow, where did the time go? I still remember like it was yesterday when I was still pregnant and about to give birth. I can’t believe it’s been half a year already! It’s definitely a milestone for both of us because I have been exclusively breastfeeding him for this long as well. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me, because despite having 3 kids already, this is the first time I’ve been able to successfully breastfeed.

I haven’t really shared much about my struggles in the past because I feel that there are some advocates who are so quick to judge and criticize moms who decide to give their babies formula. I’m by no means an expert and I just want to share my story since there might be other moms out there who can relate to my experience.

During my first pregnancy, I’d assumed that breastfeeding would happen naturally after I gave birth. After I delivered my daughter Miley, she was immediately placed on my chest to nurse as is the practice in hospitals. She didn’t really latch on then, so I just assumed she was sleepy and would eat when she got hungry later on.

She would be brought to me for feedings and the nurses would teach me how to make her latch on. It seemed easy enough then. She would suck for a few seconds, even minutes and then doze off. Based on the books I read, this seemed normal as the baby still had “reserves” from being in the womb and wasn’t really hungry yet. I also figured we were both new to this so in time it would get better.

Anyway, when we got home, that’s when the problem started. She just couldn’t latch on properly no matter how hard we tried. It was so frustrating and I just felt so helpless. I was steadfast in that I didn’t want to give her formula despite protests from my mom, mother-in-law and even yaya that I was starving my baby.  Apparently both hubby and I were formula fed and we turned out fine so both our moms were insisting we give her formula already.

This continued on for a few more days until it was obvious she was losing weight, her lips were so chapped (probably from being dehydrated already) and she just kept crying most of the time. I thought motherhood was supposed to be this wonderful thing, but I honestly wasn’t enjoying it during those first few days. I guess I had slight post-partum too, since I felt like my life was so different after giving birth. I didn’t feel good about myself, I couldn’t even take a shower, meals were rushed, and I just wanted to sleep!

All I know is I kept trying and forcing to direct feed. I did all the tricks - malunggay capsules, drinking lots of water, relaxing myself by listening to music before trying to feed (since I read the baby feels when you’re stressed too). But it just wasn’t happening. I couldn’t even feel any milk in my breasts. I was just tired, cranky, stressed, and depressed!

At this point, I was beyond hopeless so I finally gave in and gave her formula. I’m not much of an emotional person, but this really made me break down and cry. I felt like such a bad mom, that I was a failure. But to be honest, another part of me felt relieved to finally see my baby eating.

I kept reading so many articles after and found support groups of mom who just decided to pump in order to give their babies breastmilk. So that’s what I decided to do. It was funny because I didn’t even buy a pump beforehand because I just assumed I would be breastfeeding exclusively and wouldn’t need it. I guess I also didn’t have as much information and support as I should have from the start as well.

Throughout it all, hubby was so supportive. He went out to buy me a pump and whatever else I needed. After initially pumping for a few days, my milk finally came in but I was only able to pump about 2 - 3 oz at a time. Still it was something! I gave Miley whatever breastmilk I could pump and when it wasn’t enough, she drank formula. I still continued to pump when I got back to work but with extremely hectic schedules (and no decent place to pump except the bathroom), I stopped after 5 months.

Same thing happened with my second baby Sabe. I don’t know why but he couldn’t latch on as well! This time, I immediately turned to pumping and I was able to give him my breastmilk for about 8 months. But he was also drinking formula when my breastmilk wasn’t enough.

When I got pregnant for the 3rd time, I was just praying that I’d be successful in breastfeeding this time. I don’t know if it was because this was my 3rd pregnancy or maybe a change in mindset, but I could already feel my boobs had milk as my due date came nearer (which wasn’t the case with the previous pregnancies). And I guess my prayers worked since I had milk a few days after I gave birth and Skyler finally knew how to latch! Alleluia!

During the start, there were times when I doubted myself though. I was in extreme pain from engorgement and there were times I would really scream when Skyler would latch on! I was feeding on demand so I hardly was getting any sleep at all too. Not like before when hubby (or even my mom or yaya) could help feed the baby from the bottle. Now, I was literally attached to my baby at all times. I kept saying I’d take it one day at a time since it would eventually get better. And in time it did! And now, it’s been 6 months already and I plan to keep on going for as long as I can. :)


One thing I know for sure is that us moms only want the best for our babies. I personally think that breastfeeding shouldn’t be the judge if one is a good mother or not. There will be lots of opinions out there but I guess just do what you feel is right for you and your baby. Happy mommy = happy baby right? In my case, I’m just really grateful the 3rd time was the charm. So again, happy 6 months to my baby Skyler and here's hoping to be able to continue breastfeeding until he at least turns 2! :)

17 comments:

  1. I love this blog! I can relate to this. I also tried breastfeeding my twins and it worked for me for quite some time due to hectic sched. Glad to know that you were able to push through :)

    I love your blogs and I enjoy reading it :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can relate sis! Deadma ka lang sa mga hardcore breastfeeding advocates. I didn't breastfeed Quino also but he turned out fine naman. Obviously, if you can breastfeed then hooray diba? But if a mom can't for some reason or another, hindi naman siya dapat i-condemn. Grabe naman kasi ang pressure ngayon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can relate on this post. I had my mind set that I'll breast feed my baby as long as I can because I know this is the best that I can give him but same thing happened to him and your Miley (except the loosing of weight) I introduced him to formula milk though my heart was broken because I felt such a failure. =(
    Anyway, goodluck with your new breast feeding journey Helene . =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Mommy Jen :) Nice to hear from other moms who went through the same experience...

      Delete
  4. Same here! I didn't know a lot of mommies are having or had a hard time breastfeeding their babies lalo na sa first born. My eldest doesn't want breast milk naman kasi formula was given to her at the hospital. The doctor asked my husband to buy formula agad instead of bringing the baby to me. Tapos pag uwi sa bahay she was crying non stop, i was breastfeeding her pero ayaw nya, when we gave her formula nag stop na umiyak at nakatulog. buti na lang sa second baby ko kahit nag formula sya sa hospital napa breasfeed ko. Until now I'm breast feeding my baby boy kahit minsan nangangagat na. Lol He is 13 months old na. Good luck to your breast feeding journey sis and happy 6th month baby skyler :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow good for you sis! Naku, nervous din ako pag may teeth na si baby haha! ;p

      Delete
  5. lovely blog dear. happy sixth month to your baby, mine is 1 yaer on next Saturday :)
    xoxo
    cristina
    http://sofiscloset.blogspot.it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Happy birthday to your baby as well! :)

      Delete
  6. Oh wow! I love to breastfeed too but for my two kids, it only took me almost 6 months each to breastfeed them. I blame for my work. But if given the chance I'd love to breastfeed milk them until 2 years or so... Congrats Mommy Helene!!! go lang nang go... Aside from the healthy benefits of breastmilk, it is tipid also on milk 'coz formula milks is so expensive talaga...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you sis! Yes ang mahal ng formula, abot almost 1k a week diba? Super laki ng tipid pag breastmilk talaga :)

      Delete
  7. congratulations mommy for ur successful breastfeeding this time - (i;ve read kasi that with miley and sabe you werent that successful) - I was looking for candyland themed birthdays when i came across ur site and later on found out that you had another baby soon after miley was 6 months - (which is my concern now) my baby has just turned 7 months and i am a week delayed now - nakaktkot n nakaka excite but i still wish i am notyet preggo - but still hoping for the best -

    I'll keep on reading po- hoping to meet blogger mommies soon ! heehe :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi sis, where did you buy your Natur cooler bag?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's from a long time ago na, but I believe it was from the States :)

      Delete
  9. Hi @MrsMommyHolic! So nice naman with breastfeeding. Ano nga pala ang brand ng milk ang tina-take mo? Nag suggest kasi ang kapatid ko na mag Anmum Materna ako, any thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kathrine! Actually believe it or not, I don't take any milk. I just take calcium and iron tablets as supplements :)

      Delete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...