Starting big school... and learning to let go

It's the first week of school for many students, but for most parents like me, it's also the start of BIG SCHOOL or Grade 1. I just want to share my thoughts and feelings while they're still fresh since I'm sure in a few weeks or even months, I'll be laughing at how dramatic I was!

This was her first day of PRESCHOOL, 3 years ago.

Well, time really does go by so fast. For parents of newborns or babies, the days and nights might seem long now... but treasure every moment, it will go by in a blur. I still remember being pregnant for the first time with my daughter Miley. Hubby and I would think about the future and one thing we'd talk about was where she would go to school. I went to an all girls school while hubby went to a co-ed one so we would always debate about this. Anyway, hubby would always say "ang tagal pa nun!" (that's still years from now!). But look where the time went. 6 years flew by and now our daughter is in Grade 1.

graduating from preschool

I remember posting about finding the right preschool for our daughter a few years back. It was quite a decision then but nothing compared to choosing big school. Maybe for some the choice is easy, a no-brainer even. But hubby and I had a hard time. Of course, I'd always dreamed of my daughter going to my alma mater, an all girls school. But since we have 2 younger boys, going to a co-ed school would be more practical so they could all be together na lang.

My old school is also quite far from where we live now. And traffic is so bad these days I don't think it would be practical to travel for hours each day just to get to school. Super aga ng gising, then late pa makakauwi. Kawawa naman un kid diba?

Then there's the tuition. There are a number of good schools in our part of town. My hubby's alma mater is of course our top choice but we also looked into other schools which were much more affordable. I mean, we would be sending all 3 kids to this school after all in the near future.

We narrowed it down to three schools where she took entrance exams. We wanted to see first where she passes just in case, but thank goodness she was accepted to all of them. 

After much deliberation, we finally came to a decision after weighing all the pros and cons, asking family and friends, praying about it, and ultimately going with our hearts. So in the end, we enrolled her in her daddy's school. It's co-ed which scares me a little (omg baka magka-BF kaagad?!!!). But at least her brothers will be going here too in the coming years so they can keep an eye on her.

Let me just say I was an emotional wreck the days leading up to her first day. I had knots in my stomach and I couldn't sleep well. Parang ako un papasok e lol! I would even get more stressed when I would ask her if she was excited and she would say "I'm nervous mommy" (hubby said she could probably sense my anxiety too hehe).

I was so OC in preparing her things, putting plastic cover on her books and notebooks, printing sticker labels, double checking her bag and lunchbox. She's also a very picky eater so I was worried how she would adjust to eating lunch in school.

buying her school supplies

To further add to my anxiety was that she would be taking the bus to school. I'm driving her little brother to preschool pa kasi this year. But good thing we have friends from the village also on the same bus service, which made me feel more at ease. But some of my thoughts were: how will she go to her classroom from the bus (and vice versa)... baka makatulog siya on the bus... baka may bullies! Haaay!

Since this was going to be her very first time to ride the bus, I accompanied her on the first day. And of course, I kept taking pictures to document everything. Pretty soon she was getting annoyed with me already since she wanted to go na to her classroom ("Mom, I'm going to be late!").

her very first bus ride to school

I brought her to her classroom and saw a lot of excited and nervous parents there too. We were all just hovering near the door until the teacher politely asked us to leave haha! Well, I waited for her in school so I could ride back with her on the bus. I was so excited to see her during dismissal, and hearing her say she had fun and she liked big school after all! What a relief!

our baby girl, all grown up!

Well, she now rides the bus by herself and she said she likes it! Good thing her friend from the village is also Grade 1 so they always sit together. I'm worried about the bullies or maybe the older kids saying bad words or something, but when I asked her, she said the kids were quiet (probably sleepy pa silang lahat lol). Oh, and she actually ate her baon in school! Well, just the rice kasi nga she only eats a particular brand of chicken lol! But baby steps!

To be honest, I still have so many fears and worries. I keep asking my husband to reassure me that she'll be ok. I also saw a lot of parents on my social feed posting about their separation anxiety so I'm glad I'm not alone. Pero ang sakit sa puso talaga, promise!

It was so timely the other day though, they were showing Finding Nemo in Disney Channel. And in the beginning of the film, it was also Nemo's first day in school. And if you remember, his dad Marlin was being so scared and overprotective. And I could super relate!!! 

yep, that's me!

But sooner or later, us parents really have to learn to let go. And let our kids experience the real world on their own. It's hard, but it's for their own good. But really, why do they have to grow up so fast? :(

I honestly don't know if I'll still be this way when my son starts Grade 1 next year. Hopefully I'll be a lot better na. But I think it'll be a different story when my youngest starts school. I can already feel the waterworks coming haha! ;p